Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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