Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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