someone get that fucking seahorse.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize