Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
