ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I want a musical about memes.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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