I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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