I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Randomize
