Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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