He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
