After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
