If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
