Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
