He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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