Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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