I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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