I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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