ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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