cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
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