Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
