She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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