i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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