Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
