Pants 0. Shit 1.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
