Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
