There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I have fence marks all over my body
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
