Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
