Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
