I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I would ride that face into the sunset
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