Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
