Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
