Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You're like the curious george of whores
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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