And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
