im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
