Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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