I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
