We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
