I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
