Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize