I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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