You work out of a Hotel?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
