We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
