I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
