Moan for me like Helen Keller
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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