I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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