what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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