Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
