I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Terrible idea I love it
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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