At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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