Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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