I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
