Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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