Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
