sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Shame is for Republicans.
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