it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
