Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
