My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
