How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
