I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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