Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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