so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Randomize
