I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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