If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
