I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
