K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
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Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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