Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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