You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
