I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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