So drunk its hurt
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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