Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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