Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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