Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
