we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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