Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
