ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
