fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
