I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
